Been gone for way too long. I don’t even remember what my last post about. And I’m not in the mood to post any recipes lately. I’m having a break from kitchen I think. Too many things are hanging around my mind, but haven’t reached the point where I can’t stand all of these matters anymore. I still can think, but can’t think clearly, wisely, which kinda make me feel stressful inside unconsciously.
My plans didn’t work as the way I want them to be. And like what happened 6 years ago, I don’t have master plan B. I don’t know what path to choose. Well I know, but it’s blurry. Is it the right way? I don’t know. I have no clue. I have no one who can tell me what to do. ‘Cause that’s the point of living in adulthood, you choose your own path, no more people around telling you what to do. You choose with your own risks.
I think I’m in my lowest point. Hopeless? Ohh, how I hate calling my self a hopeless one. But yes, kinda hopeless. but why should I feel hopeless? I still can feel the air, feel the oxygen run in to my lung. I’m alive. And it left me with no reason to be hopeless, but to keep trying and believing that in the end I will get back on my track and achieve my goals.
My goal? To find a job! Soon!
I feel I’m getting older (yes, we all are getting older each day) and I have responsibilities to be fulfilled. Being settled in career is my very first move to prepare my self to the next step, where I have to start to think about marriage life. Who will be the one? Who fits me perfectly and willing to spend his life with me until the death tear us apart.
Another goal? To experience something new. I’ve been waiting like forever to be out of this city. I wanna be somewhere new, rounded with new people, make new friends, challenging my self with new activities. Anything new!
What I know now is not losing hope. And to have a big faith that it will be good in the end. Will be great in the end. And I will live a happy life for the rest of my life. Amin.